Always Will Be
by etmuse
Summary: Maria returns to Roswell on a national tour, but will she find a reason to stay? Part of my 'Roswell Lives' series but it can be read independently. An 'uncut' version of this fic is available from my homepage.
1. I Shouldn't Still Love You

Maria DeLuca looked out of the window of her tour bus as they crossed the state line into New Mexico.

"Why did I ever agree to finish the tour in Roswell? How could I let them convince me it was a good idea?" she mused as the scenery flew by.

It had been a long time since she'd been back. So much had changed in her life over the past 5 years.

Leaving Roswell hadn't been easy. Leaving Michael had been even harder. She could remember that last night like it was yesterday…

_Maria stood nervously outside Michael's apartment, her hand raised to knock on the door. They had said their official goodbyes earlier that day, but she had an uncontrollable urge to see him just once more before she left. Before her knuckles could make contact with the door, it opened, and she suddenly found herself staring into the surprised eyes of her lover._

"_Hi…I was just coming to see you. I, well, I just knew I had to see you tonight"_

_Maria looked into his eyes and smiled as she stepped over the threshold, closing the door behind her. _

_"I thought I'd save you the trouble of climbing in my window," she whispered in his ear as she wrapped her arms around his neck and pressed herself against him. Michael drew her into his arms and kissed her lightly on the forehead. After tightening his arms around her to hold her against him, he pulled away slightly, and asked her if she wanted something to drink. As he retrieved a couple of sodas from his fridge, she sank onto his sofa. He handed her one of the cold drinks, dropping an unexpected kiss on her lips as he joined her._

_"How's your mom taking it? She's gonna miss you nearly as much as me."_

_"Not as bad as I thought, but she might just be putting on a brave front."_

_"She doesn't want to lay a guilt trip on you. This is your dream. We both just want you to be happy. Even if that means you leaving."_

_"I know. It's just so hard, knowing I'm not gonna see you for at least a couple of months."_

_"Don't remind me. You nervous?"_

_"A little. It's a big thing. I'm leaving home. Leaving my mom. Leaving you." Michael leaned over and hugged her, kissing away the tears that had appeared on her cheeks._

_"Shhh… It's not like we're never gonna see each other again. You'll be back for visits, and if I can save up enough I can come see you in LA. And I'll talk to you on the phone every night, I promise."_

_"I wish I didn't have to leave you"_

_"I know. I do too. But you've wanted to sing since you were a little girl. And now you're gonna have the chance you've always wished for. Follow your heart. Don't let anything stand in your way."_

_"Part of me can't wait to get out there, but the other part wishes this night would never end."_

_"I know the feeling. One part of me wants your dreams to come true, while the other wants to hold you close and never let you go. God I'm gonna miss you so much" Michael buried his head in Maria's shoulder. "Never forget that I love you. Promise me," he said, his words muffled as he nuzzled her neck._

_"I won't, I promise. I'll love you forever too. No matter how far apart we are," Maria replied. "And I'll always be true to you."_

_"Ditto." Michael lifted his head and gently took her lips with his own. The kiss started out softly, but soon became passionate and desperate. Neither wanted it to end. Michael dragged his lips from hers and kissed his way down her neck and across her shoulder, nudging away the spaghetti strap of her top._

_"Michael…." Maria murmured, as she reached up to start unbuttoning his shirt…_

_Maria woke very early the next morning, knowing she'd have to get home soon or her mum would find out that, yet again, she hadn't slept in her own bed. She found it difficult to leave her haven of Michael's embrace, but eventually she managed to get up and find her clothes. Michael sat up as she was pulling her top over her head. She looked at him, wishing she didn't have to leave right now. A few tears leaked out of the corners of her eyes. Michael stood, taking her in his arms one last time._

_"I love you," he whispered into her hair, "I love you so much." Maria looked up into his beautiful eyes, so full of love._

_"I love you too. I don't know how to say how much." He pulled her head against her shoulder for a second before she pulled away resolutely. "If I don't leave now my mum will be up before I get home and she'll kill you." Michael slipped his jeans on and walked with her to the door, kissing her softly as she opened the door._

_"I'll call you as soon as I'm settled" she whispered, her hand against his cheek. She turned and walked down the street, tears streaming down her face._

Things had worked out great for the first few weeks. They had talked for hours on the phone every night. Often their conversations had little substance, but they were content just to hear the other's voice. Then things had all gone wrong when she'd been held up at a studio, and he had assumed the worst. They'd had a huge argument on the phone the following day, with him accusing her of cheating, and her yelling at him about trust. That was the last time they had spoken, both too stubborn to be the first one to break their silence. After a while Maria had started dating again, hooking up with several guys she'd met in the business. But none of them had ever entered her heart…or her bed.

She hoped she wouldn't need to see him during the time she was spending in Roswell. She had, however, come to the conclusion that a meeting was almost inevitable, considering that she did plan on spending time with her best friends from her childhood, Liz Parker and Alex Whitman. "Liz Evans now," she mentally corrected herself. She was glad Liz was finally happy. She'd had a tough time of it for a while. Her dad had sent her away to boarding school in Vermont to keep her away from the love of her life, Max Evans, who Mr Parker thought was a bad influence on his daughter. It had all worked out in the end, Liz had graduated valedictorian of her class, and promptly returned to Roswell. Just a short time later, she and Max had married. Surprisingly, Max and the Parkers were now really close, especially since they had found out about the tremendous stresses placed on Max as the king of a faraway planet. A young boy who was forced to take the lead in a war he didn't really understand. A child who'd had to hide his true identity from all those around him.

"Who'd have ever believed it," Maria thought, "Mr and Mrs Parker, part of the 'I-know-an-alien' club."

Alex was finally happy as well. Strangely enough, he had also found his happiness with an Evans. He and Max's sister Isabel would be getting married in barely a week's time. The last time she'd spoken to Alex he'd sounded a little harried, what with trying to help plan Isabel's dream wedding. Nevertheless, he was ecstatic to be marrying his dream girl.

As Max's second-in-command and childhood friend, Michael was practically a brother to Max and Isabel, so spending time with Alex and Liz almost automatically entailed also spending time with Michael. It would be good to see them again though. Despite regular phone calls nearly every week since she'd left, she hadn't seen either of them in nearly 5 years. She hadn't even been able to go to Max and Liz's wedding…although no one else had even known they were planning it until they'd arrived back from Vegas, where they'd eloped. She had missed her mum getting married though, which was a really sad thought. Her mum and the local sheriff Jim Valenti had been married for just under three years now. Maria shuddered. And Kyle Valenti was now her stepbrother. That was almost too weird to think about. They had talked about the possibility when their parents started dating the first time, but had dismissed it when they had broken up. Not long after Maria had arrived in LA, they had started dating again, and they now had a 9-month-old baby girl. A small half-sister for Maria, who couldn't wait to meet little Julie.

Maria was drawn out of her musings as she watched the 'Welcome to Roswell' sign flash past the window.


	2. I Didn't Say It

Chapter 2 – I Didn't Say It 

_Summary_: Maria returns to Roswell on her national tour, but will she have a reason to stay? Chapter 2: Will Michael go see his beloved Maria in concert after all this time?

Michael Guerin pulled his keys out of his pocket and unlocked the front door of his apartment, yelling at his flatmate Kyle Valenti to get up for work. He hoped Kyle's girlfriend Tess Harding wasn't in there with him, or he'd be late…again. He'd already gotten a warning from his boss. Over the last few years, Michael had grown used to working the night shift as a security guard for local company Meta-Chem. As head of security, he could probably switch to days if he wanted to, but he'd gradually become more and more of a night owl.

He grimaced as he remembered the billboard posters he'd seen being put up on his way home. She was coming back to Roswell.

'Singing Sensation Maria DeLuca', native of Roswell, and the only girl Michael had ever loved. The girl Michael _still_ loved, a fact he admitted to no one, and rarely even to himself. She'd made it. Just like he'd known she would. As far as he was concerned, she had more talent in her little finger than anyone else in the business had, possibly excepting Metallica.

As a finale to her nation-wide tour, she was doing a small gig in her hometown in 2 weeks time. The billboards advised to 'Buy Your Tickets Fast' as there were only about 500 seats available.

"Gives me a good excuse not to go," he sighed in relief, not overly anxious to have his heart trodden on when he saw her. He'd seen the pictures in the newspapers and magazines, a different guy for every party, for every release. She'd moved on with her life, had obviously forgotten all about her first love. Unlike him, for all he claimed he was completely over her, that he thought of her as just an 'old friend'.

She was so much more than that. He'd cried when she left. Not in front of her, he didn't want to upset her even more, but after his door was closed behind her and she was gone. He'd buried his face in the pillow she'd slept on and cried. It was yet another thing he had hidden from the world. Not even Max or Iz had ever found out.

She was only going to be in town for a few weeks, surely he could manage to avoid her for that long.

"I hope," he muttered to himself as he headed into the shower.

AWB----------------------------------AWB-----------------------------------AWB

"We _need_ to get Michael to that concert."

The small group sitting around the table looked up in surprise at Liz's statement.

"Isn't he going?" asked Alex. "I would have thought he'd want to see Maria sing."

"When I asked he said he thought he was working that night" answered Max, his tone leaving no doubt as to what he thought of _that_ excuse.

"He's the boss," Tess remarked. "Can't he just give himself the night off?" Ignoring the 'duh' faces his girlfriend was now receiving, Kyle seemed thoughtful.

"What _I_ don't understand is why he wouldn't want to go. He dated the girl for God's sake, surely he'd want to see her again."

"That's just it," Isabel retorted, "He _dated_ her. Not just that, he _loved_ her. And it's pretty clear that he still does, no matter how much he denies it." Kyle looked unconvinced.

"Think about it," Max reasoned. "He says he's moved on with his life, but come on, you live with the guy. Exactly _how_ many dates has he been on since she left?"

After a long pause, wherein Kyle seemed to be doing some finger counting and head shaking, he finally announced, "One."

"Precisely."

"And he _did_ come back pretty early," admitted Kyle, looking contemplative.

"And have you noticed the way he acts whenever her name is mentioned?" Liz piped up. "He tries sooo hard to make it look like he doesn't care. And if you accuse him of not caring about his 'old friend' as he calls her, he gets really defensive, babbling on about how he wants her to be happy, and how they've both moved on with their lives, and how he thinks of her as a friend now."

"Methinks the moody alien doth protest too much," misquoted Alex.

"Exactly my point!" Liz exclaimed.

"And there's the whole magazine thing." Everyone stared at Kyle after this outburst.

"Magazine thing?"

"Yeah. He thinks I don't know about it, but he has a huge stack of music and gossip magazines in his room, and Maria's in just about all of them. I've never seen another guy buying these particular magazines, and especially not in such a quantity. You know, I think you might be right about him…"

"Either that, or he's having some sort of gender crisis," Tess joked. "But seriously, if Michael _does_ still have a 'thing' for Maria, isn't taking him to the concert just setting the poor guy up for a fall?"

"Well, it would be," Alex started softly. "But for the fact that Maria feels exactly the same way about him."

Kyle looked bewildered. "Seriously? I know we haven't been particularly close as step-brother and sister, but surely she'd have said something to me, or I'd have noticed something." Liz shot Kyle a withering look.

"The same way you noticed that Michael still loved _her_?"

"Okay, maybe I'm not the most perceptive person in the world when it comes to this sort of thing, but I'm still having a hard time believing that Maria is out there pining over Michael."

"Believe it," Alex told him. "She may have dated a hell of a lot more than our buddy Mike, but nothing has ever been even remotely serious for her."

"Plus she _never_ asks about him when we talk on the phone," Liz added. "If she was truly over him, she'd have asked how he was getting on once or twice."

"And if you mention his name in a conversation with her she just blocks it out and pretends she didn't hear you."

"Just trust us on this one. She's our best friend. We know her better than she knows herself." Kyle looked between Alex and Liz, stunned.

"So we really _do_ need to get Michael to that concert!"

"So……"

AWB----------------------------------AWB-----------------------------------AWB

Michael pushed open the swing doors of the Crashdown Café, noticing that the rest of the gang were already in their regular booth. He checked his watch. No. He wasn't late. Nine o'clock on the dot, as usual. He was somewhat surprised to see Kyle and Tess already there. They were _always_ late. Something had to be going on.

"Hey guys," he called, strolling over. "What's going on?"

"Nothing," Tess said innocently. Too innocently.

"Why'd you think there was anything going on?" Kyle asked, his voice about 3 octaves too high. Something was _definitely_ going on.

"Okay guys, spill it. You're not fooling me. I've known you too long."

"It really is nothing, Michael," Liz declared, unruffled. "We just wanted to give you this," handing him an envelope. Michael eyed it suspiciously.

"What is it?"

"Open it and see. It's nothing bad, honest." Michael flipped open the envelope, tentatively pulling out the contents. A ticket to the big show, less than a week away.

"I know you said you might have to work, but we figured you'd want to go, seeing as she's an 'old friend'"

"I don't know. I really might have to work."

"You don't," Kyle piped in. "I already checked."

Damn. There went _that_ excuse. Michael didn't know what to do. He couldn't exactly refuse to go. He knew how they'd interpret his making a fuss. He'd spent too long working on his 'I'm sooo over Maria' façade to let it slip now. Yet he couldn't _go_ either. He just couldn't face seeing her again. Not in person. Pictures in magazines he could handle, but having her actually in the same room as him again was a completely different thing. Maybe he could accept the ticket, and find some excuse not to go at the last minute, so they couldn't find a way around it.

"Ummmm…thanks guys. I was gonna get a ticket when I first heard about it, but then I realised about the work thing. It's, umm, really good that I'll get to go after all," he stuttered, hoping they'd just figure it was his regular inability to show gratitude easily.

After a long pause, Max finally spoke up. "So what we gonna do tonight then? Anyone fancy a movie?" Michael sank into a seat, his mind still on Maria, and the concert he needed to get out of.

AWB----------------------------------AWB-----------------------------------AWB

He'd tried everything. They'd found a way to fix every 'problem' he'd had that would prevent him going. He was almost desperate enough to resort to 'I'm washing my hair', but he realised that would never work. Damn his short hair, and damn his bloody over-helpful friends. There was nothing else for it. He'd actually have to go to the concert from hell. Max and Liz would be over to pick him up soon, their solution to his 'my bike's acting up' excuse. Kyle had already left to pick up Tess, and they were all meeting up outside.

"Why did I agree to go? How could I let them convince me it was a good idea?" he muttered under his breath.

"_Because you do really want to see her again. You miss her."_

Michael tried to ignore the annoying little voice whispering to him from the dark recesses of his consciousness, but it was persistent, and as stubborn as he was.

"_You know you're still crazy about her."_

Well, crazy _about_ her, crazy _because_ of her. What was the difference anyway? Either way he was going to end up in a mental institution if he didn't get her out of his head.

"_And you hope she's still crazy about you too."_

Now that just wasn't true. He wouldn't wish this emotional torment on his worst enemy, let alone the woman he loved.

"_And you hope that when you get there she'll see you and realise she's still madly in love with you and jump off the stage and into your arms and then you'll…"_

Michael cut the irritating little voice off mid-rant. That was completely out of the question. In fact, he hoped the exact opposite, He hoped he was sitting right at the back, where she'd never see him, never even know he was there.

The doorbell rang out. It was time to face the music.


	3. Your Life

A/N: Thanks for the lovely reviews, and I apologise for the long break between chapters - to make up for it here are two new chaps at once!

* * *

"Do you think he'll back out?"

"He might try, but there's no way he can."

"All bases are covered."

"There are no feasible excuses left for him to use."

Alex, Isabel, Kyle and Tess stood at the edge of the car park, watching out for the familiar jeep Max drove, hoping that Michael would be in it when it arrived. Eventually Max pulled into a space a few rows away, hopping down to give Liz a hand out while Michael jumped out of the back reluctantly.

After greetings had been exchanged all around, the gang headed into the concert.

* * *

Maria sat in her dressing room, drinking hot mint tea to ease her vocal chords and, hopefully, calm her demented nerves. It was strange that she had sung to packed stadiums all across the country, serenading hundreds of times the number of people sitting out there tonight, and been only slightly nervous. And yet now, back in her hometown, with an audience of barely five hundred, she had butterflies the size of houses, and her stomach was turning cartwheels.

She pushed the notion that the possibility of Michael's attending the concert had anything to do with it aside. After all, she was over him, wasn't she?

* * *

Michael followed the rest of the gang into the auditorium, ticket in hand. Seat Z9. That sounded good. That sounded like a seat at the back. He was upset to see his friends heading towards the front. He started reading the letters of the rows as they passed them. Damn. They were going up as they went forward. That meant row Z was exactly where he didn't want to be. Right smack dab at the front. And seat nine was slap-bang in the middle. Just great. Reluctantly he made his way to his seat and sank down into it. His only hope now was that it would be dark enough that he wouldn't be visible from the stage. Before he had time to voice his complaints, the lights dimmed. Maria appeared on the stage. Michael looked up, and thought he had never seen a more beautiful woman in this world, or any other.

* * *

Maria took a deep breath as she stepped onto stage for her final song. The lights were bright in her eyes as the band started up behind her._I know you think that_  
_I shouldn't still love you  
__Or tell you that_

As her eyes grew accustomed to the lights she finally spotted her friends sitting on the right hand side of the front row. Including Michael. Her eyes were drawn to him like a moth to a flame.

_But if I didn't say it  
__Well I'd still have felt it  
__Where's the sense in that_

Michael looked into Maria's eyes and noticed that she was looking right back. She had noticed him. He'd been optimistic when she hadn't appeared to recognise him through the rest of the concert.

_I promise I'm not trying  
__To make your life harder_

Seeing him there, watching her with those intense eyes of his made singing the song that much harder. Did he know that it was about him? Had he figured that much out?

_Or return to where we were_

Seeing her up there, so happy, made him that much more sure that he'd done the right thing, letting her go. But it hadn't made it any easier. It hadn't stopped him from missing her more and more every day, every week, every year.

_But I will go down with this ship  
And I won't put my hands up  
And surrender _

As their eyes met and caught, Maria knew with sudden certainty that she had been deluding herself for over 4 years.

_There will be no white flag above my door  
__I'm in love  
__And always will be_

She was nowhere near over Michael. Not now, not then. And she didn't think it was likely she ever would or could be.

_I know I left too much  
__Mess and destruction  
__To come back again_

As she sang, Michael thought back to the first time he'd heard her sing this song. It had been only a few months after she'd gone, a few months after they'd broken up. It had been played on the radio all the time. He'd listened to it every time, still mourning the loss of their relationship.

_And I cause nothing but trouble  
__I understand if you  
__Can't talk to me again_

It came to him suddenly. Some of these words sounded scarily like their situation. She must have written the song right after their split. She'd written it about him.

_And if you live by the rules  
__Of it's over then  
__I'm sure that that makes sense_

Maria thought back to where she'd been when she'd written this song, which had been her first big hit. She had been hurting over the whole Michael situation. Wishing it wasn't over. She'd had a hugely successful career, but she still wished the same thing. She wished she hadn't needed to give up on their relationship in order to succeed.

_But I will go down with this ship  
__And I won't put my hands up  
__And surrender  
__There will be no white flag above my door  
__I'm in love  
__And always will be_

As she sang, her attention kept drawing back to Michael. Maybe a part of her hoped that they could have something again.

_And when we meet  
__As I'm sure we will  
__All that was there  
__Will be there still_

Michael realised that deep inside, a part of him hoped that she was still feeling the emotions that she was singing. That they still had a chance for their happily ever after.

_I'll let it pass  
__And hold my tongue  
__And you will think  
__That I've moved on_

Both recognised the reality of these words. They had convinced the world that they were over each other, that they had moved on, but it was all just a façade.

_I will go down with this ship  
__And I won't put my hands up  
__And surrender  
__There will be no white flag above my door  
__I'm in love  
__And always will be_

Michael stayed seated in a daze as the song ended and the house lights came back on.

"Michael!" Liz's voice finally permeated the haze.

"What?"

"Come on! We've got backstage passes, we can go see Maria!" Liz was very excited at the prospect of seeing her best friend face to face for the first time in 5 years.

Michael unwillingly tagged along behind his thrilled friends.


	4. Where We Were

Maria quickly stripped out of her stage outfit and changed into some jeans and a shirt. She knew her friends would be there soon. She was looking forward to seeing them all again. She had missed her friends a lot. She had new friends in LA, but it just wasn't the same as spending time with friends who had known you since childhood. Friends who had been your friends _before_ you were famous. True friends. Well, she was looking forward to seeing most of them again. She wasn't entirely sure how she felt about seeing Michael again, especially considering what she had discovered about her feelings when she saw him in the audience tonight. Considering that she didn't know if he still felt the same way. They hadn't left things at a very good place. Part of her wished she could have overcome her pride all those years ago and called, the other part wasted no time with regrets. There was nothing she could do now to change the past. What was done was done.

Did she want to see him again? Could she take it if she found out for sure that he _didn't_ miss her? That he was over her in a way she could never be over him? Would it be better if she never had to speak to him? Or would it turn out the other way? What if he still loved her? If he regretted their relationship ending as much as she did? What would she do then? Her mind flip-flopped between her desires. One moment she was convinced that she wanted to see him again, the next she felt that seeing him again was the last thing she wanted to do. She was very confused, and she had yet to decide which of her wishes was foremost when she heard a soft knocking on her dressing room door. She hesitated before standing up, inspecting her appearance in the mirror and softly calling out to the eager clan outside the door.

"Come in!"

The door burst open and Liz rushed at Maria, grabbing her around the waist and hugging her tightly.

"It's so good to see you again! I've missed you so much!" Liz squealed.

"Me too chica, I can't believe how great it feels to see you again. It's been too long."

"Way way too long." Maria pulled back to see the rest of the gang hovering in the doorway, including one very reluctant looking Michael Guerin.

"Well don't just stand there. You're making the nice hallway look messy. Come in and shut the door behind you. Honestly, you wouldn't think you lot had been brought up at all."

As soon as Liz released her, she felt herself being swung into another pair of arms. Alex picked her up and twirled her around.

"How's my favourite best friend-cum-superstar?" Alex asked, a cheeky twinkle in his eye.

"Well, see, I don't know…why don't we find her and ask her?" Maria retorted, barely holding in a giggle as the rest of the group settled around the room.

Maria looked around expectantly as Alex took his place next to Isabel. There was silence for a second before they all started talking at once.

"So what's it like being part of the 'famous' crowd?" Isabel asked excitedly, gripping her hands together in front of her. "Is it as cool as they make out in the movies?"

"I can't believe we actually know someone who's a chart topping singer! The whole of Roswell is soooo proud of you Maria!" Tess gushed.

"Your mom is gonna be _so_ thrilled to see you again. She wanted to be here tonight but she didn't want to leave Julie with my dad. I don't think she trusts him not to drop her or something," Kyle told her

"You were brilliant out there Maria. Everyone loved you." Max said quietly.

"I always knew you were gonna be a star. It was just waiting to happen." Alex had always been so confident in her.

"You have to tell us everything."

Everyone stopped to agree with Liz.

"Yeah we want to know it all."

Michael was conspicuously silent, as he sat staring at the floor, listening carefully to every word Maria said while trying to appear nonchalant. She seemed happy. She obviously didn't need him anymore. Didn't want him anymore. The thought killed.

"Everything huh? That's gonna take a while…I _have_ been away for five years you know…"

"It's not like we have anything better to do."

"Spending time with you is the best way I can think of to spend the next few hours…"

"Dish it up hon."

"Well………"

The group of friends were still there hours later, swapping anecdotes, and reminiscing of times long past. Only Michael remained quiet. Maria noticed it and her heart sank. He didn't care for her anymore, it was clear. His wall was built as high as it had been when she first knew him. She kept face, but inside, a small part of her started to weep.

* * *

Eventually, after hundreds of stories told, eyes started to droop, and they realised it was well into the night. After a long goodbye with lots of hugs and promises, Max, Liz, Kyle, Tess, Alex, Isabel and Michael headed back out into the parking lot.

"You were quiet tonight Michael," Liz observed, looking slyly towards the others. "Didn't you want to talk to Maria? You can't have said more than two words to her the whole time. You were practically rude."

Michael looked pained.

"You're right." He admitted. "It was wrong of me." He looked around. Maybe he _should_ talk to her. Alone though, not in front of the rest. Find out for certain if he had a chance or not. "I'm gonna go back and …umm…apologise. I'll make my own way home. Good night."

* * *

Maria was packing the last few items into her bag when she heard a soft tap on the door. Warily, she called out'

"Who is it?" There was a long pause, wherein she began to wonder if she'd imagined the sound. Then a gruff voice came through the door.

"It's me……umm…Michael."

To say Maria was surprised would be an immense understatement. He'd come back to see her? Why? So he could sit in the corner and look sullen again? Had she misread him? A small kernel of hope began to emerge in her heart.

"Well, come in, I guess." The door opened and a slightly nervous looking Michael was discovered behind it. After pausing for a few moments, he slowly stepped into the room, softly closing the door behind him.

"Umm...look…ummm…well…ummm…I wasn't very polite earlier. I mean…I practically ignored you…and…umm…that's not right." Michael stammered.

"Did Max chew you out about it? Is that why you're back? Because Max and/or Liz sent you back to apologise? Well you might as well just…" Maria started to rant.

"No! Ok…so he wasn't happy about how I was behaving, but I came back to apologise of my own free will!" Michael interrupted, his voice raising.

"Really?" Maria looked at Michael in stupefaction. Michael volunteering for an apology? Things had definitely changed while she'd been gone.

"Yeah really. I figured maybe we could talk some too. Since, well, we didn't really chat earlier." Maria's shocked look grew more and more intense. "What? Quit looking at me like I grew a third eye or something."

"I'm sorry. It's just a bit weird hearing you actually _suggest_ talking. The spaceboy I remember did just about anything to _avoid_ said activity."

"Yeah well maybe I've changed in the last five years. You'd probably know that if you hadn't just stopped calling."

"I stopped calling because you did!"

"I wasn't the one fooling around with some hotshot I only just met!"

"I wasn't fooling around! Ever! Ask anyone that I spent any time with back then and they could tell you that!"

Both voices were raised almost to a screech. They were now standing facing each other, arms waving dangerously about as tempers flared.

"Yeah right! Because you'd pay them to say that!"

"No because it's true! I can't believe you had so little trust in me!"

"What was I supposed to think?"

"I don't know…how about the truth? That I was held up at a meeting with some record label people, talking about my demo tape? You know, I can't believe I ever went out with you! I can't believe I actually let myself fall in love with you! You're just insufferable!"

"Oh yeah? Well the feeling's mutual _sweetie_!"

Michael and Maria were edging closer to each other with every yelled word. They were practically nose to nose, angry eyes glaring at the other as they argued.

"That's good to hear!"

"Yeah, and it's good to say too!"

"Oh yeah?"

"Yeah!"

Both stopped, unsure of quite what to say next, and just stood there for a beat, bare millimetres separating their faces. The incensed glares began to fade, replaced by something much more deadly. Maria unconsciously moistened her suddenly dry lips with her tongue. Michael glance flickered to them just before he swooped down and captured them with his own.

Maria resisted a little at first, then moaned into his mouth, melting against him. Michael seized this opportunity to thrust his tongue into her mouth, relearning the crevices he had known so intimately years ago. He groaned as her tongue tangled recklessly with his, slipping and sliding in a fashion meant to drive him wild. Passion grew as their tongues fought for supremacy.

Maria's fingers were aching to touch his skin. She reached around and slipped her hands under his shirt, running her hands across his stomach. Michael's mouth left hers to trail a hot path down the side of her neck, nipping and sucking alternately. When he arrived at the collar of her shirt his large hands left her back where they had been tracing patterns through her shirt to unfasten the top few buttons. Maria pushed his shirt up so she could run her fingertips across his chest, making him shiver. Maria moaned softly as his palm cupped her breast through her bra, thumbing the pebbled nipple.

Suddenly a ray of reality burst through the hazy fog that was clouding Maria's mind. She pulled away from Michael, breathing heavily as she looked into his confused eyes.

"No…We can't do this. It's not right. We haven't even spoken for 5 years and we're gonna jump into bed together or something? We aren't doing ourselves any favours."

Michael was stunned. His brain was so mushy he could barely form complete sentences.

"Huh?"

"We need to stop this before it goes any further. Maybe you should go."

Maria stood up, refastening her shirt, and Michael followed suit.

"I'll see you sometime, soon."

Michael straightened his clothes and let Maria usher him out of the door.

* * *

Michael was still in a distracted daze as he unlocked the front door of his apartment and headed for his room. Tess and Kyle were snuggled together on the couch watching an old black and white movie as he passed through the living room.

"Hey Michael!" Tess called out, "How'd the screaming match go with Maria?"

Michael stopped in his tracks and headed back to the living room.

"How'd you know there was a screaming match? Maybe there wasn't one. We are both perfectly capable of speaking to each other without yelling…" he started defensively.

"It's you and Maria, it's what you do." Tess stated, turning on the couch to look at him as he stood in the doorway.

"Yeah man," Kyle added, "All you two have ever done is fight. Your relationship just seemed to work that way."

"It was like your way of showing each other that you cared…or something weird like that." Tess finished.

Michael mused on this as he turned back towards his room. Were they right? _Was_ their fighting a way to show their feelings? Was it still? Was it possible, was there even a teensy tiny chance that Maria still felt for him the way he felt for her? Did their relationship have another chance?


	5. I Will

Over the next week, Maria didn't get much time to herself to relax and consider where things were going, or might go, with Michael. Despite having taken a few months away from singing to 'take a break', she had been swept into the hurricane that was Isabel and Alex's wedding plans. Maria had once considered Isabel the Christmas Nazi…now she realised that she was even worse with weddings, and the fact that this one was her own was only making it worse. Almost everything had been booked months and months in advance, but there were still the hundreds of phone calls to be made to confirm the bookings, and the inevitable last minute disasters. The caterers were worried because one of their servers had fallen ill, the florists weren't sure the blooms would be exactly on the right day, and somehow between them (with Isabel in charge of course), each little disaster was worked out to satisfaction.

Finally, the big day dawned. Maria, Liz and Tess were all going over to Isabel and Alex's place early that morning to start getting ready for the big event. They had decided to make themselves up 'manually' for once. The whole wedding was to be a 'NAP' zone…No Alien Powers. This also gave them a whole lot of extra time to have a girlie bonding session before Isabel went off with Alex on their honeymoon. Once they were all beautified, they would head to the church to dress, where the guys, who supposedly took less time to ready themselves, would be preparing.

* * *

"Oh my God. Am I really doing this?" Isabel's face lost all colour as she stood in front of a full length mirror in the back room of the church. She started to sway a little, clutching at the thin air around her, and the other girls all rushed to catch her before she fell. Maria and Liz helped her across the room to sit on a comfy chair in the corner. Tess opened the small window in the corner to let a little air into the small room. 

"Calm down Isabel. And breathe." Maria said. Isabel shot her a look that said 'This coming from you?'.

Maria caught the look and added wryly, "Yes, I know it sounds odd for me to say that, but I've learned a lot in the last 5 years." Isabel took a deep breath and looked round at her worried friends.

"I've been so busy making sure that everything is going to go right today that I haven't really thought about the fact that I'm getting _married_ today. Alex and I are committing ourselves to each other for the rest of our lives. That's a big step. Are we really ready?" Liz put her hand on Isabel's shaking arm.

"You know you are. I think every bride feels like this on her wedding day. It's called cold feet."

"Did you feel them?"

"Of course I did. Until that morning I was absolutely 100 sure that the only thing I needed to know, the only thing I _wanted_ to know, was that I could spend the rest of my life with Max. Suddenly, for no logical reason, I started doubting it."

"We've all seen you and Alex together," Tess added. "It would be a sin for you two not to be together. You love each other so much. Everyone who's ever watched the two of you for more than about 10 seconds could tell you that you are made for each other, a perfect match in every way."

"You really think so?"

"Honey, we _know_ so." Maria said. Isabel looked around at the sincere faces of her three friends, flashed a huge smile at them, and stood up.

"Okay then, let's get on with it then!"

"So Maria," Liz started as they began to change. "How did your conversation with Michael go?"

"Yeah," Isabel added, "We know he went back to talk to you, but we can't get a word out of him about what you guys talked about."

"You know us." Maria replied flippantly. "We barely got two words out before we were yelling at each other."

Liz, Isabel and Tess exchanged looks. Maria was being evasive and they knew it.

"And…?" Tess said.

"And nothing," Maria retorted, "we started talking, we ended up fighting, end of story, seriously!" The girls weren't going to let her get away with that pithy account.

"Ok," Liz said, "Methinks the lady doth protest too much!" Maria shot a disdainful look at her best friend.

"Come on. You know what it was always like between Michael and me. We've never been able to exchange so much as a couple of civil words to each other without it turning into some argument. On that front, it seems that nothing has changed at all in the last five years."

"What about on other fronts?" Isabel asked, her voice full on innuendo. "That didn't stop the two of you getting pretty damn cosy back then."

"Yeah," Tess added, "You were all but inseparable, despite both of you, at one point or another, claiming that you couldn't stand the sight of the other. I tried to split you apart, remember? When I was on that whole idiotic 'we need to follow our destiny' kick."

"Besides," Liz chimed in, "you never stayed too mad at each other for long. After every tiff you always 'made-up and made-out'. Or should that be in the other order?" Liz finished, with a cheeky grin on her face. Maria stayed silent, avoiding meeting the eyes of any of the other three girls. After about thirty awkward seconds of Maria finding the floor insanely interesting, and the other girls looking bemused, Liz began to chuckle, a realisation dawning on her. She looked at her friend, noticing the very slight hint of a blush just visible beneath her makeup.

"Things really haven't changed all that much have they? At least, you and Michael haven't. Not when it comes to each other." Liz prompted Maria. Finally, Maria looked up and met Liz's amused gaze. The look in her eyes confirmed Liz's suspicions. Isabel had obviously come to the same realisation, but Tess continued to look rather bewildered.

"It happened again just like that didn't it?" Isabel inquired, as much for Tess's benefit as to actually have Maria confirm it. Slowly Maria nodded, murmuring softly, "Yeah…yeah it did." Liz noticed the sad note in Maria's voice, and that a little of the light had left her eyes.

"And that's difficult for you, isn't it honey?"

"Yeah, it is." Maria started pacing. "Until I saw him last week, I was sure I was over him. Sure, I was still single, but that had nothing to do with Michael. I just hadn't met the right guy yet, you know? And then…" Maria's voice trailed off, as her eyes were awash with confusion.

"And then…?" Isabel prompted softly.

"And then I came back here. From the moment I saw the familiar scenery outside town I started remembering things, the last time I saw him, before I left for LA. I convinced myself that it was just the place. That it didn't mean anything, not really." Maria stopped abruptly at the wall and turned to face her three friends.

"And then at the concert, when I caught sight of him sitting there with the rest of you in the front row. I knew then that I'd just been pretending all these years. Deceiving myself. Letting my heart hide my feelings from my head. How could I ever have thought I'd be over him? And maybe a little part of me hoped he felt the same. That maybe there was a chance we could have something again. Something more mature, more lasting. And then when he came back to see me, we just fell into the same old pattern again. I don't think I can do that." Maria's voice broke. Liz rushed over to hug her.

"Hey, don't start crying now…you'll ruin all our hard work of this morning, and with our NAP vow, we won't be able to fix it." Liz tried to insert a light tone into her voice.

"I know, I know…I'm not crying. It's just so confusing."

"You're still in love with him." Isabel said. "You're pretty sure you always will be. You have to go after that. You owe it to yourself, and to Michael, to see if you can work it out."

"But what if we can't? I don't think I could survive it if we got back together, only to end up splitting again."

"What choice do you have?" Tess asked, "You can give it a go, and it might not work out, or you don't, and you'll never know." Maria looked over at Tess.

"You might just have a point there, but I guess what I really need to do is talk to him. And then we'll just see where we end up"

"Sounds like a plan" Liz said. "You can never really tell where you're gonna end up. Sometimes you just have to leave it up to fate to decide. I know when you, me and Alex were kids that we'd never in a million years have expected to be living with aliens, let alone marrying into them and everything."

"And everything?" Isabel looked over at Liz as she let her words drift away.

"Umm, well…" Liz hesitated and a blush stained her cheeks.

"What is it chica?" Maria asked, "something good I assume, since we seem to be talking you and Max here."

"We've, umm…" Liz hesitated again, unsure of the best way to phrase what she wanted to say. "Well, we're, er, we're thinking about considering that maybe we might be ready for more out of our relationship."

"Huh?"

"You're talking in circles Liz. What exactly are you trying to say?"

"Ok," Liz took a deep breath. "We, Max and I, well, we're thinking about trying to get pregnant. But…" The rest of Liz's sentence was drowned out by the squeals of the other three girls.

"Shhhh!!! There was a 'but' there and you're not listening to it." Liz said loudly amidst the excited chatter. "We don't know for sure if its possible yet, although the tests we've done so far seem to indicate that it would proceed in a manner very similar to a completely human gestation. And there may be risks involved."

"Chica, there's risks involved in _every_ pregnancy. And you really want this, don't you." Liz looked into the understanding eyes of the woman she'd been best friends with since childhood.

"Yeah, yeah I do. We both do."

"Then I say go for it." Isabel declared. "We won't know for sure until you try. And you know as well as I do that Max won't let anything bad happen to you."

"I know. It's just a little scary, you know?"

"I can see why. But I'm sure it will end up fine in the end, one way or another. Somehow, we always manage to get everything worked out alright."

"Yeah, like you and Alex. You ready? I can hear them getting ready out there now." Isabel turned around, looking radiant in her dress and veil.

"I'm ready."

* * *

"She's not gonna turn up is she?" Alex fretted. "She'll realise that she's making a huge mistake, that she doesn't really love me, that she no way wants to spend the rest of her life living with me, and she's not gonna turn up." The guys were dressing in a small room near the front of the church, after spending the night before at Michael and Kyle's apartment. Not having spoken to Isabel in over 15 hours was not having a good effect on Alex's already jittery nerves.

"Calm down, Alex," Max said, as he walked over and laid a stilling hand on Alex's shoulder. "Of course she's gonna turn up. She's my sister. I know her. And she's head over heels crazy in love with you man."

"But what if…"

"But what nothing." Kyle interrupted, "She'll be here, trust us. Trust yourself, and what you know about Isabel and your relationship – when you're not jumping around like a crazed bug. This is meant to be. You know it, and she knows it, and she'll be here today to show the rest of the world."

Throughout this exchange, Michael had been quiet and introspective, quieter even than his normal self, a fact which did not escape the others.

"Michael?" No reply. Michel didn't appear to even hear his name being said.

"Michael?" A little louder.

"Michael!"

"Huh? What?"

"Are you even vaguely listening to what's going on around you?"

"Yeah, of course."

"Then what did I just say?"

"Umm…Michael?"

"Before that." Michael looked thoughtful again for a moment, then admitted, "Ok, so I wasn't exactly paying attention."

"You haven't been paying attention to much this last week. You got something on your mind, and I have an inkling what it is. Or should I say who?"

"I don't know what you mean." Michael replied, trying to look innocent and failing miserably.

"Oh yes you do. You've been quiet and thoughtful-looking ever since you got back from your little one-two-one with our own little superstar. Something you still haven't told us anything about." Kyle goaded.

"And you're not gonna hear anything about it. I don't want to talk about it." Michael ground out fiercely.

"Look, we all know you still got a thing for her. And I don't think she's completely indifferent to you either. So what's the problem?"

"Look, I dunno. It's complicated."

"By what?"

"By a lot of things OK? Can you just drop it?"

"Whatever it is Michael, the two of you have too much feeling between you to just let it go. You need to see what you can do to fix whatever's gone wrong between you. You'll regret it all your life if you don't." Alex advised softly.

Michael was spared from a reply as a head poked in the door to tell them to get into place. The wedding was about to start.

To be continued…


	6. Surrender

WARNING: This chapter definitely deserves the 'M' rating

* * *

Maria pushed the remains of a delicious meal around on her plate as her gaze wandered around the room from where she was sitting at the top table. The wedding had been wonderful. She looked over to where Alex and Isabel were staring lovingly into each other's eyes just a few seats away. They had gone through a lot together, and had spent a long time fighting the feelings they had for each other. Feelings that had been obvious to everyone around them, but not to them. Once they had finally stopped deluding themselves and gotten together properly, they had, by all accounts, been completely and sweetly devoted to one another. Neither Liz nor Maria had been around in Roswell when they had actually eventually found each other, but from that moment on, Alex had sounded a million times happier whenever they talked on the phone. And whenever Isabel's name came up, which was quite often, he seemed to drift off into a happy, dreamy state, until the voice on the end of the phone finally invaded his consciousness again. Adding in what Liz had told her about them over the past few years, and what she herself had witnessed since her return to Roswell, Maria was sure that they had a long and happy married life ahead of them. A pang of envy washed over Maria. _If only…_ Maria sighed, her wayward gaze settling on Michael's profile as he chatted causally with Max, who was seated beside him.

_If only she had called him five years ago. If only she'd never been held up in those meetings. If only Michael hadn't jumped to the wrong conclusions. If only…_ Maria's if only list went on and on, but the result of them all was the same. She and Michael could be together now. They might never have lost each other in the first place, and who knows what might have happened. Maybe they'd be planning their own wedding. Maybe they'd be married, have a blissful life together. Maria shook her head, trying to clear it. All this dreaming and wondering would change nothing. What had happened had happened, and there was no way that they could go back to change it. No matter how much she might want it to be possible sometimes. Maria sighed again. _Like now._ Maybe it was the whole atmosphere of the wedding, but right at that moment, she wished she could do that part of her life over, and do it differently.

* * *

Michael chatted absently with Max as he fiddled with his fork from dinner. His mind was still travelling in circles as he pondered what Alex had said before the ceremony. Could he and Maria ever be something together again? He glanced over at Alex and Isabel, who were gazing dreamily at each other, their hands linked on the tabletop. Maybe Alex knew what he was talking about. He seemed to have managed to handle his own love life with success. A strange feeling rocketed through Michael as he watched Alex tenderly kiss Isabel's knuckles. It took him a few moments to decipher what it was. Envy. He craved the kind of closeness he'd seen between Max and Liz, Alex and Isabel, even Kyle and Tess. And there was only one woman he'd ever wanted to be that close to - Maria. He glanced over at her. She appeared to be staring into space, a thoughtful look on her face. If things had been different, maybe they'd have still been close enough that he'd know what she was thinking about without even having to ask. If they hadn't had that stupid fight five years ago and broken up, they would probably have still been together now. They might even have had a wedding of their own. Back then, the very thought of marriage, of that huge a commitment, would have terrified Michael, but he'd grown up a lot in those last years. Now, the thought of being able to spend the rest of his life with the one he loved most in the world seemed like an immeasurable joy.

A slight smile appeared briefly on Maria's face as he watched her surreptitiously, and a blast of longing swept through him. That was something else. If he hadn't been so stupid all those years ago, if he had been confident enough in himself to really believe that she loved him, if he hadn't over-reacted, she'd still have been not only in his life, but in his bed. Somewhere he'd really missed her being, somewhere no one else had been or ever would be. He could still remember that first time like it was yesterday. It was etched indelibly into his mind. They had finally defeated the skins once and for all, and he'd dared to hope that it was safe to let his guard down a little. They had celebrated life that night, life and each other.

_Michael pulled his apartment key out of the pocket of his best jeans and fumbled slightly with the door. Maria wasn't helping, as she was running her hand across his stomach, pressing herself against his side. They had been out for dinner, at a nicer restaurant than they could usually afford, but Michael had actually been saving up, planning to take her somewhere nice to celebrate if and when they were free of the skins. And since yesterday, they had been. Working together as a big team, the 8 aliens and 4 humans had defeated the skin army sent to destroy them. Defeated them a lot more easily that they could have even hoped to dream of. It had been a hard slog over the past months, training and practising, but it had really paid off. And now, just maybe, they were safe, at least for a while, until the next threat turned up. Michael pushed the negative thought out of his head, tonight was for celebration, not worrying about future events that may never occur. He finally opened the door, and took Maria's hand as he pulled her into the room and flicked a switch. He looked round to watch Maria's face as she noticed the room. He'd spent hours today, tidying and cleaning, to make his apartment look nice for Maria, to make it look nice for the first time since about 5 minutes after he'd moved in. The surprise and pleasure in her eyes made all the effort worth it._

"_You did all this?" Michael felt strangely embarrassed at the pure adoration he saw in her eyes as she took in the difference. _

"_Yeah," he answered, a little hesitant, "I...um, I wanted it to be nice for you. Seeing as you're always complaining you can never find anything here and stuff." Maria captured his gaze with hers as she moved close to him and wrapped her arms around his neck._

"_You know, you try to convince everyone you're this tough guy, hiding behind that stonewall of yours, but underneath, you're my sweet, amazing boyfriend. I can't believe you've done this just for me." Maria murmured, gazing lovingly up at Michael._

"_I, well, I…"Michael responded, not completely at ease with talking about feelings and emotions. "I want you to be happy with me. I just love you so much." He closed his eyes for a few seconds, gathering courage to carry on. "All my life, I've been searching to find where I belong. And now I've realised that I think I've found it. Here, with you, on Earth, of all places." Maria's eyes filled up with tears, and Michael pulled back slightly, alarmed. "What is it? What's wrong?"_

"_Nothing." Maria replied in a choked voice, "Nothing at all. They're happy tears. I can't believe I'm so lucky as to have found you. I love you so much." She tangled her fingers in the hair at the nape of his neck, and pulled his head down to capture his lips with hers in a sizzling kiss. Michael soon responded, wrapping his arms around her and pulling her body flush against his as he invaded her mouth with his tongue. _

_One of her hands came round to rest on his chest as she moaned softly into his mouth. Michael slid his hands down to stroke her ass as their kiss deepened. He groaned as she squirmed against him, grinding her hips against his. He tore his mouth from hers, kissing his way down the side of her neck, inciting several moans of pleasure from Maria. He suddenly felt her questing fingers searching for the buttons of his shirt, fumbling to unfasten them. He was nibbling her ear when she managed to undo the final button, and slide her cool hands inside the now open flaps of his shirt. She played with his chest hair, and vivaciously tweaked at the nipples nestling in it. _

"_Maria!" he groaned, his hands gliding up underneath her top to caress the soft skin of her back. She playfully bent her head and planted sweet kisses on the centre of his chest. Michael twisted his fingers in her hair, tugging her head back up to recapture her lips. As his tongue swept the deepest recesses of her mouth, he inched her top higher on her torso, with her wriggling to assist him. Together, they swept it over her head, their lips immediately finding each other again. Their tongues tangling, he brought one rough hand up to cradle her breast through her bra, feeling the nipple instantly harden beneath his fingers and the lace. _

"_Michael!" Maria gasped breathlessly, pushing frantically at his shirt, trying to get it off his shoulders. Michael shrugged out of it, freeing the whole of his chest to her caresses. His lips once again left hers to trail down her neck, this time making his way across her shoulder before dipping to capture the straining peak of her nipple through the lace of her bra. She moaned again, before fumblingly reaching around and flicking the clasp open, and allowing the straps to fall unheeded down her arms. The only thing holding the cups against her breasts was Michael's hot mouth where he teased her nipple with his teeth and tongue. Slowly, he pulled back, allowing it to fall neglected to the floor. _

_With difficulty, he got his breathing enough under to control to murmur, "Maria, maybe we should stop." Maria looked at him, a slightly hurt expression appearing on her face. "I mean…the thing is…if we don't stop now, I don't think I'll be able to stop at all. And your mom would kill me." _

"_Michael. I don't want to stop, not tonight. And my mom is out of town, she doesn't have to know…"_

"_Maria, I don't want you to do anything you might regret in the morning."_

"_I won't. I want this." Michael looked uncertain._

"_Are you sure, cause I really don't…" Maria cut him off by capturing his lips in a blistering kiss. Michael surrendered, and kissed her back, his hands slowly making their way up her sides to cup her now bare breasts. He thumbed the aroused peaks, provoking Maria to release little cries of delight into his mouth. Her small hands ran riot across his chest and back, leaving a trail of arousal wherever they went. Together, lips locked, they stumbled across the room towards his bedroom door, kicking out of their shoes as they went._

_Michael felt Maria reaching for his fly, and pulled back long enough to whisper urgently, "Are you absolutely sure?" Maria sent him a smouldering look that said 'Ohhhh yeah', before trailing her fingers across his lower stomach and unbuttoning the button of his fly. _

_Michael caught her wrist as she reached out to touch him._

"_No. You can't. I couldn't stand it," he ground out. Maria looked into his dark eyes, which were even darker than usual, and swirling with desire. Smiling, she took a small step backwards, reached behind her, and popping a fastening, let her skirt slide to the floor, leaving her clad in nothing but a tiny pair of bikini panties. Michael thought he might explode on the spot. Stepping out his jeans, which had fallen to the floor, he swept her up in his arms and laid her down in the centre of his bed. He lowered himself next to her, and leaned over to touch his lips to hers softly. He kissed her over and over, his lips lingering on hers just a little longer each time until she grabbed the back of his head and held him close to her and invaded his mouth._

_He brought his hands back up to fondle her breasts, her stomach, before working his way lower to cup her through her panties. He could feel her on his hand, so hot and wet. She pushed her hips upwards, rubbing herself against his hand. He gently stroked her through her soaked panties, absorbing her ecstatic cries hungrily._

"_Michael," she panted, "I need you, now." Her hands were franticly pushing at his boxer shorts, and he let her push them off. He hooked his fingers in the sides of her panties and guided them down her legs and threw them to the floor. He took a deep breath, to try and steady himself a little. Trailing a finger up her inner thigh, he stroked her softly, inciting a shiver. He felt her grasping fingers pulling at him, guiding him towards her. He paused. _

"_Maria," he managed to whisper, "I don't want to hurt you."_

"_Please Michael," she begged, "please." Slowly, so as to give her body time to adjust, he slid into her. He felt her stiffen slightl, in pain, and lay still as it passed. Slowly they began to move, their bodies perfectly synced. _

_Maria cried out in rapture as her release broke upon her. Michael tumbled over the edge of the abyss after her, flying through stars together, fireworks rocketing behind his eyelids._

_Slowly they came back down to Earth, wrapped in each other's arms. Michael kissed the top of Maria's head as he rolled them onto their sides. _

"_I love you," he whispered into her hair._

"_I love you too" she murmured as she drifted off to sleep, content in Michael's embrace._

_They had awoken several times in the night, insatiably reaching for each other every time. Truly celebrating their love, and the fact that they had made it through hard times, and survived, together_.

"Michael? Are you listening? Hello? Earth to Michael?" Michael was snapped out of his memory by Max waving in front of his face and talking in a singsong voice.

* * *

Michael was worried when they announced the start of the dancing. Despite having taken a few dance lessons years ago, he was still hopeless. And he knew he would have to dance with Maria. When the moment actually arrived, and he took her hand, he was just about scared. Luckily, it was a very simple dance, but he was still counting insanely in his head for the first few turns around the floor. When he finally relaxed enough to actually look at Maria, he saw she was smiling slightly.

"Still can't dance huh?" she said quietly. He looked at her and shook his head, a smile creeping onto his face despite himself. He couldn't believe he was holding her in his arms again. She felt so right there, even after all these years. Looking into her smiling face, he realised that his friends had been right. He would regret it eternally if he didn't at least try to get to know her again, and see where it went from there.

* * *

Maria almost grinned at the look on Michael's face as he led her onto the dance floor. She couldn't help the smile from making it to her face when the music started and he was obviously furiously counting in his head. She remembered he'd taken dance lessons years ago. So he could dance with her and hopefully not step on her toes. The dance teacher had declared him a lost cause, but it had been the thought that counted. The fact that he seemed to still remember at least part of the lessons warmed her heart. He had changed so much, and yet so many things were the same. She realised she really wanted to get to know the changes. She loved him, she had no choice.

Both Michael and Maria opened their mouths at the same time.

"I think we should talk"

"Do you want to talk?"

* * *

Maria sat down on the end of the bench across the road from the hall where the reception was being held. Michael, following close behind, took the other end. They sat in silence for a few moments, neither of them sure how to begin. Finally, Maria spoke up, saying the first thing that came to mind just to break the eerie hush.

"It was a beautiful service."

"Yeah, they looked happy."

"Yeah." Silence descended again. Maria studied her shoes, while Michael appeared to be tracing the lines of the pavement with his eyes. "You ever wonder if we'd have been married?" Maria eventually began cautiously. "If we'd stayed together I mean." Michael looked up and over at her.

"Umm…" he hesitated, "erm, yeah. In the last few days especially, you know?" Maria nodded. "I couldn't help but think that maybe we've been idiots, holding on to some pride thing for so long. At least I have been." Maria sighed regretfully.

"Yeah, I've been thinking the same thing. I guess I've been regretting the whole situation." Michael locked eyes with Maria.

"So I guess the question is, what do we do about it? What _can_ we do about it?" Maria took a deep breath before answering.

"Well, I don't know about you, but I'd kinda like to give us another shot. Start over." Michael's heart lifted, and a slight smile tilted the corners of his mouth. He cleared his throat.

"Me too. I'd like that. This last week, I've come to realise that what I felt for you isn't as over as I thought it was. I think we owe it to ourselves to see what we have, see if it's gonna lead anywhere."

"Sounds good." Maria sniffed emotionally. "I want to get to know who you are now. I need to find out if what I'm feeling is just nostalgia for what I felt for you five years ago, or if maybe I could feel the same way about you now. About the new you."

"Yeah, I think we've both changed. We've grown up for a start."

"So I guess we should just take it slowly, get to know each other over again. Although the whole process will be easier without having to redo the alien exposition thing," Maria continued, with a hint of humour in her voice.

"You're telling me? Last time I was terrified that you were gonna run off and get us all exposed, and I'd have lived the rest of my probably short life in a lab somewhere doing tests."

"I remember. I over-reacted just a little bit." A more companionable quietness fell on them, and they just sat side by side looking at the stars.

A short while later, Michael checked his watch and realised they'd been gone longer than he'd thought.

"Come on. I think we'd probably better get back inside. They'll be wondering where we disappeared to."

"Yeah, I'm surprised someone hasn't appeared looking for us. Although they've probably made up their own conclusions about _why_ we disappeared." Maria joked. Taking her hand, Michael led her back across the street and into the reception, where Isabel was running around preparing to throw her bouquet. At Michael's unspoken urging Maria joined the gathering crowd.

"Is everyone ready?" Isabel called over her shoulder, holding the bouquet, ready to be tossed, in her hand. A few moments later she tossed it backwards over her head, where it landed neatly in Maria's arms. Maria looked around her at the laughing faces of the other women. Was this an omen? Would she be the next down the aisle?

To be continued…


	7. There Will Be

Michael took a final quick glance in the mirror as he dashed around the apartment trying to find the important things he would require that evening…keys and wallet would be useful but he had yet to discover quite where they had disappeared to. He looked at his watch. Shit. 7:21. He was supposed to be at Maria's in nine minutes. It would take at least 5 to get there, and he really didn't want to be late tonight. His perpetual tardiness had been something they had always fought over before, and he wanted to start off this time on the right foot. After finally coming to the realisation that there were still feelings between them, he didn't want to ruin it before they even got a chance. In the three days since Alex and Isabel's wedding, they had only spoken briefly when the entire old group (minus Alex and Izzy, who had gone off on their honeymoon) had gotten together for some greasy fries at the Crashdown. Spying his wallet under a small table in the lounge, he bent down to pick it up and stuff it in the pocket of the slightly-smarter-than-normal pants he was wearing. Another glance at his watched told him it was 7:23. Seven minutes left…he had to find his keys…and fast.

It was strange how he was so nervous, he mused. His palms were sweaty and his stomach was flipping. It was just Maria. They'd done this hundreds of times before. Thinking about it, they'd even been to the restaurant he was taking her to several times. It had been one of Maria's favourites, which was why he'd chosen it for tonight. Their first-for-five-years date. A night that could make or break their renewed relationship. It dawned on him that that was why he was so tense. It was Maria, the only girl, woman or whatever he'd ever cared that much about, and this was probably one of the key nights in their relationship. It was right up there with the night she found out about his true heritage, or the night they had first slept together. Tonight mattered, he could only pray he didn't mess it up. Glancing around, he spotted something shiny lying on the couch…

* * *

Maria rummaged through her closet desperately.

_Where is it? Surely I packed it. I wouldn't have forgotten that dress. It was the only dress Michael ever told me was pretty. Pretty! Not just his usual 'hot', but pretty_.

Frenzied, Maria started pulling things off their hangers and throwing them around the room. When the last thing had left her closet to carpet the bedroom floor, she had to concede that she must have left it back in LA. When she had been packing for the tour, dating had been the last thing on her mind, and dating Michael had been even further. Ok, that wasn't strictly true. Knowing that she was returning to Roswell she couldn't help but think of Michael, but she hadn't planned on spending any more time with him that was absolutely necessary, and certainly not dating him! Although, if she was completely honest with herself, even then there had been a tiny kernel of hope in her heart that wanted to believe that they could still have a chance.

Maria turned around and stared hopelessly at the mess of discarded clothes that enveloped her room. She took a deep breath. She was going to stay calm, and she was going to find an outfit for the date that would look just as nice as the dress. She managed to suck in another deep breath before panic started to set in. She grabbed a dress from next to her feet, throwing it over her shoulder, dismissing it as 'too clingy'. Another was 'too low cut'. She didn't want anything too provocative, seeing as she wanted to try and take it slowly with Michael this time around. She rampaged through each and every dress she had brought with her. Each and every one was discarded for one reason or another. Tops and other items were destined to follow the same path. When every single thing had been thrown back into the closet, Maria realised she needed to calm down, and fumbled on her dresser to find her tiny tube of Cypress Oil. Opening it she took a long sniff. She took a few deep breaths, and found herself calming down. Okay. She could do this. It was just a date. A date with Michael, she'd done this before. She could do it again. She continued to take deep calming breaths. She composedly made her way back to her closet. After quickly deciding that all of her dresses were indeed unsuitable for this first date, she settled on long skirt and halter-top. Paired with a pair of comfortable sandals, it wasn't too provocative, yet complemented her figure nicely.

As she sat down in front of her dresser to put on her makeup, she thought back on the lovely day she'd had. She had gone over to her mom and Jim's to spend some time with them and Julie. She hadn't had a lot of time to spend with them the previous week, she had been so busy helping Isabel with 'Wedding' stuff. At first, Julie had seemed a little wary of her much older half sister, but Maria was glad to discover it had only been a little initial shyness. She thought Julie was possibly just about the cutest little girl she'd ever seen. They had taken her to the park today. She couldn't walk unaided yet, but could take several steps if someone held her hands. Maria had been happy to walk with her like that for quite a while. They had played on all of the baby playground equipment together, and Maria had happily held Julie on her knee to go down one of the slides that was a little to big for someone of Julie's size and age to go down alone. They had crawled through tunnels and built a sandcastle in the sandbox. Maria loved the opportunity to go back to her childhood. She had missed the whole of the first 9 months of Julie's life, but she planned on being around a lot more from now on. She loved her baby sister dearly, and wanted to be there enough to be a proper big sister. After spending hours at the playground, they had headed towards the duck pond. They had brought several crumbs of bread in a plastic bag, which they threw to the ducks that came to investigate the small pink thing. Julie was very enthusiastic in her feeding, grabbing handfuls of crumbs and throwing them has hard as she could. The ducks had certainly enjoyed it, but Maria would be willing to bet that Julie had enjoyed it more. By the time they had gone back to Amy and Jim's house that afternoon Maria had almost envied Julie her nap. Spending a day with a near-toddler was tiring! But tired then or not, she wasn't anymore. A mixture of nerves and anticipation had cleared her head of exhaustion. Finishing her lipstick, she took a last glance at herself in the mirror. She glanced at the clock that sat ticking away on her dresser. 7:27. She took a good few deep breaths as she felt her stomach flutter. She almost hoped that Michael would follow his normal pattern and be late. She wasn't ready. She needed more time.

ding dong

Maria tried to look serene and collected as she hurried through the apartment to answer the door. 7.29pm, he was early. What was up with that? She opened the door to Michael, who looked as if he'd been going through something similar to her. His hair had a slightly dishevelled look, as if, after combing it, he had run his hands through it a few times.

"Hi." Drat, that sounded a little too breathless.

* * *

Michael had indeed run his fingers through his hair several times, while standing on her doorstep waiting for her to answer. He was nervous, and he couldn't help it. Glancing at his watch he knew that he had at least done the first thing right. He was on time, with a minute to spare and everything. Now all he had to do was get through the rest of the evening without doing something stupid.

* * *

Michael and Maria sat opposite each other in the cosy little restaurant. The ride across in the car Michael had borrowed from Kyle had been quiet, and there was also silence in their booth. Maria looked around. She was touched that he had remembered this was one of her favourite restaurants. She wanted to say something to him about it, but every time she opened her mouth to try, she got tongue-tied. She didn't want to mess this up by saying something stupid.

A waiter came over to take their order. Michael shot a questioning glance at Maria, who nodded. She was surprised, but not upset, when he ordered for both of them. The same order they had always eaten all those years ago. Again, she was moved by the fact that he remembered. When the waiter left, she looked over at him with an amazed expression on her face.

"You remembered," she finally managed to utter.

"Of course." He replied quietly, "I remember everything about you, about us." Their eyes met. The awkwardness started to melt away.

"So…" she started conversationally, "you're the boss out there at Meta-Chem security now…"

* * *

They were still talking non-stop when the bill was brought over several hours later. When Maria moved to take out her purse, Michael shook his head.

"I chose the restaurant, I chose the food, I'm paying the bill. No arguments."

Not wanting to get into a fight over something so trivial, Maria left her purse where it was.

The journey back to Maria's rented apartment was a much more comfortable trip than the one to the restaurant. Michael and Maria joked and teased one another, enjoying each other's company. When they drew up outside, Michael jumped out and ran around to open the door for Maria. She was impressed with the old-fashioned gesture, and took his arm and allowed her to lead her to her front door.

"I really had a great time tonight."

"Me too. I have an admission to make. I was absolutely terrified I was going to mess it all up."

"So was I." Maria whispered. Michael started to lower his head to hers, then pulled back, ramming his hand through his hair.

"Michael?" Maria asked, sounding a little confused.

"We can't do this." He ground out.

"Can't do what?"

"I'm not going to kiss you. Not tonight, and I think you know why."

"I know we agreed that jumping back into a physical relationship wasn't a good idea, but it's just a kiss."

"Maria." Michael looked straight into her eyes. "You know as well as I do that if I kiss you now, it won't stop with a kiss. And you just said it. Us jumping into bed together would be a bad idea. So I think it's better if I just don't."

Maria nodded, comprehending the sense in his decision. "Ok, you've got a point."

Michael slowly backed away towards the car, his eyes never leaving Maria's. "I'll call you. And I think Max and Liz are planning something for everyone to do as a group. No idea what."

Maria nodded and lifted her hand to wave goodbye as he climbed behind the wheel. He returned the wave and slowly pulled away.

To be continued…


	8. I Know

Maria tapped her foot as she sat in a booth at the Crashdown

Maria tapped her foot as she sat in a booth at the Crashdown. Glancing surreptitiously at her watch she noted that there were still a few minutes before she was due to meet Liz. She'd been too hyperactive to sit alone in her rented apartment that morning so here she was, waiting impatiently in the café where she had spent many long hours as a teenager waiting on the hotchpotch of locals and alien-obsessed tourists. Several long minutes later, the door opened and her long-time best friend and fellow former alien-themed waitress walked in. She stood to hug Liz warmly as she came over to join Maria at the table.

"Hey you."

"Right back atcha sweetie."

Settling back into their booth, they both looked up as a waitress approached them, wearing something only minimally less cheesy than the outfit they had worn in that position. Liz looked over at Maria.

"Want your usual?"

"What else?" Maria laughed in return.

Liz turned to the girl who waited patiently beside the table, notebook in hand.

"We'll have a Will Smith, a Sigourney Weaver and a portion of Saturn Rings."

"And don't forget the Alien Blast" Maria interjected.

"Never!" Liz responded, a suitably horrified look on her face, only belied by the mischievous twinkle in her eyes.

As the waitress noted down their order and went to put it in, Maria and Liz grinned at each other. Despite being five years older, and not seeing each other for those five years, it was almost like they were back in high school again. Especially when the next thing Liz said was,

"So…how did your date with Michael go night before last?"

Maria looked thoughtful for a second before answering. "Actually, I think, as a proper date, it went better than any date I've ever been on before… and much better than most of the dates I've been on with Michael before."

"Sounds promising." Liz smiled.

"It was weird. In some ways we're the same as we were five years ago, but in others we've both grown up so much. I mean, five years ago Michael had trouble committing to any kind of responsibility at work, why else was he always struggling to pay his bills? And now, he's the head of a whole team. He's the boss."

"I remember. But you're right, we've seen Michael grow up a lot over those years. He's still stony and moody, and he tries to shut us out more often than not, but he's not as overtly anti-social as he used to be."

"We're both a lot more emotionally mature now. Back then I don't think we were really adult enough to handle what was between us. Maybe that's why we fought a lot. We just couldn't handle the intensity. Now…well, I don't know yet if we're destined to be together, but I think if we are, I believe we'd be mature enough not to wreck it the same way we did before."

"So you had a good time with him then?" Liz asked as their food was brought over to them.

"Yeah. We had a lovely dinner. He even remembered my favourites. And he took me back to the apartment and walked me to my door. I don't think he ever did that before." Maria ducked her head and pretended to concentrate on her food, slightly abashed about what had happened next. She took a bite and swallowed before continuing. "And he wouldn't kiss me at the door."

"Is that a good thing?" Liz inquired, confused by Maria's tone on her last comment.

"I know it doesn't sound like it would be, but it is. You remember how we were before, we jumped into the physical side of our relationship before we even really knew each other. We decided we didn't want to do it that way this time around. Michael must have realised, like me, that there are still a lot of sparks between us. He recognised that if we kissed, it would be unlikely we'd stop there." Maria grabbed a few Saturn Rings and stuffed them into her mouth between sentences. "Which was more than I did right at that moment. Thank God Michael was there to be a voice of reason."

Liz giggled at that. Michael being the reasonable one in any relationship was too odd a concept to even think about. Maria looked at her and chuckled as well.

"Yeah, I know it sounds deranged, but it's true. Guess it only goes to show how much someone can change in just a few years."

"But you think the change in Michael is for the better?" Liz asked slyly, her 'hopeless romantic' hat on. Maria caught what Liz was really asking, and could only answer as honestly as she could.

"Honestly, at the moment, I can't say for sure." She grinned. "But I sure hope it is!"

They ate in silence for a few minutes before Maria broached the topic of Max and Liz's decision to find out if it would be possible for them to conceive a child.

"Well, we decided to go with a two-pronged approach." Liz told Maria solemnly.

"Two-pronged? Wow, that must hurt!" Maria joked. Liz shot her a good-humoured glance.

"First part is umm…experimental." Liz said, with a slightly dreamy smile on her face that told Maria exactly what kinds of 'experiments' were going on. Maria returned a knowing smile.

"And the other 'prong'?"

"Research." Maria nodded…Liz was a forensic analyst, this sort of thing was right up her alley. "So far the signs are good. I've done a few tests with our blood, but it's slow going, since I don't have a lot of equipment at home, so I have to use the stuff at work. And this kind of this isn't something I can do with other people around, so I've been spending a lot of time there after everyone goes home in the evening, and occasionally before they get there in the morning."

"Cutting down on your 'experimenting' time." Maria broke in with a cheeky laugh. "But seriously, things are hopeful?"

"Yeah, hopeful. So far I haven't found anything to say it definitely won't work, which I'm optimistic about."

"It'll work out Liz, it has to. You and Max had so many problems and you overcame them all to be together. This will be the same, I'm sure of it." Liz smiled at Maria's confidence. Somehow, when Maria was sure of something, everyone around her felt more positive as well.

"So, Michael mentioned that you and Max were planning some group activity or something?" Maria said, digging into her meal again.

"Yeah, we were thinking…"

* * *

Maria and Liz lay on the floor in little Julie's room, playing with the tot. When they had finally finished their lunch, including sinful chocolate desserts, Maria had mentioned she was planning a trip over to her mom's. Liz insisted on accompanying her, on the pretext that she wanted to catch up with Jim and Amy, but, like Maria, had spent most of her time at floor level playing with Julie. Maria realised the significance of Max and Liz's plans. If all went well, there would soon be another baby for Liz to spend time with…her own. And there was a place in Maria's heart that hoped, if she and Michael did work out, and it was possible, maybe someday she would have her own little piece of her and Michael to love.


End file.
